“You’re so much fun to spend time with, but. . . ” “You’ve been a great friend these past few months, but…” “You’re really thoughtful and nice to think of me, but…”
If the person asked you out via text, avoid keeping the text message or showing it to anyone else. [4] X Research source If the person asked you out via social media, do not take a screenshot of the message and show it to others. [5] X Research source
If you get asked out on a second or third date from someone you find unattractive, you might say, “I had a lot of fun with you on our first date, but I’m just not interested in you in that way. ” This can be easier to hear than “I don’t find you attractive. ”[8] X Research source If you get asked out by someone new at school or work who doesn’t know you’re in a relationship already, you can say, “I really appreciate you asking and it’s been nice getting to know you, but you should know I’m already in a relationship with someone else. ”
Be brief. You have a right to just say “no” without giving any explanations. [10] X Research source Avoid over-apologizing. You don’t need to apologize for how you feel. You have a right to express your feelings honestly. [11] X Research source Be firm. Repeat your “no” if your message isn’t getting across or if the person is trying to change your mind. [12] X Research source
If you genuinely need time to think about your answer because the situation is complicated, be direct and ask for time. For example, if you’re interested in the person who asked you out, but he used to date a friend of yours, you may want to avoid saying “no” right away. Instead, you can say, “I’m not sure. I do like you and I think it would be fun to go out with you, but I know you used to date my friend. I need to talk to her first before I can give you an answer. ”[14] X Research source
Choose the appropriate setting to refuse her. For example, if she asked you out in-person, but in front of other people, you may avoid refusing her until you can be alone. You can say, “Thank you so much! Why don’t we go have coffee or take a walk to talk about it?” Choose your means of communication. If the person asked you out over a text message, through email, or through social media, you can return in kind, or give her a call. [15] X Research source
You can say, “I know you must be feeling hurt or confused right now. I appreciate you asking me out. That takes a lot of courage and I can’t imagine how hard that is. ” You might ask, “Is there anything you need to feel more comfortable? I know it might be weird since we still have to go to school together. ”
Suggest a friend who might be a good fit for her to date. [17] X Research source Get your friend’s permission first. Ask if the two of you could just be friends, if you aren’t already. Ask for more time if you’re unsure of your decision or can’t agree to a date right now, but are interested in dating her in the future. Suggest spending more time with her one-on-one if you don’t know her well, but would like to get to know her better before formally dating her.
Letting someone know where you are, if you’re alone with him. Leaving the situation immediately and going to where there are other people. Blocking him on any social media applications or dating websites where you talk to him. Avoiding responding to his phone, email, or text messages. Avoiding being alone with him in person in the future.
